Billy Mays Funeral

Billy Mays had a touching funeral service with his pallbearers wearing handsome Oxi-Clean blue shirts as they sent him off on his final broadcast. The pallbearers all gave the media a big thumbs up after delivering his casket to the church. Because of Billy Mays, people drunk or on acid at 2A.M. will turn on their televisions and see someone selling them a food dehydrator.

In other news, it turns out the name of the dancer who died is Michael Johnson, and they had his funeral at the Staples Center in L.A. All kinds of minor celebrities were they, and the service featured crying children. Sounds like it was in the worst possible taste.