Monday, November 27, 2006

More on Technology

Many people are looking for a technology. I recommend a cheap, shitty technology. If you speak to the computer salesman at an electronics retailer, he will tell you your needs are for a good technology. This is probably not the case. There is now an abundance of cheap-shitty technologies. If you buy a computer for example, there are now cheap-shitty 200 dollar computers that will surf the web and run a word processor. Considering that’s what you’ll be using the computer for 90% of the time, why not invest in cheap-shitty technology?

However, don’t buy anything at Radio Shack! Radio Shack does not sell technology. They sell products that look like a technology, but are actually plastic boxes filled with gremlins. The gremlins will probably escape and break the other technologies in your house. You will, however, get some free technologies, unrelated to the technologies you intended to purchase. For example, you may get house fire technology, or broken hunk of shit technology. If you do accidentally purchase a technology at Radio Shack, search the interior for secret messages. For example, the last time I searched a Radio Shack box I found a message which read, “Help, my name is Yin Lao and I am a political prisoner being held captive in Guang Xao province and forced to work in a radio factory. Please contact Amnesty Internaitonal.”

I wonder what that was supposed to mean. Note to the Chinese authorities: the radio was Inspected by #6, so he’s probably a good place to start with the “questioning.”


Anonymous kyle said...

Your commentary on technology could not have been more timely, had it been written in a technology-free past, nor a super-computer future. Why, just today I was wrasslin' with my good ol' buddies, the IT guys. Now these guys here want to grind up my innards, combine them with some crappy Toshiba parts and turn me into some sort of borg. But I won't be mechanized. Let's not be technocratic about this, life is life, and my heart is not a CPU. I have a soul, and it is not called Windows. So, yeah for undermining all plans of the technological masterminds--buy crappy technology, better yet, try to avoid it at all costs.

6:56 PM  

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