Monday, December 04, 2006

McPaper McOpinion

The Dallas morning News would like to endorse all of the bond measures on the upcoming election ballot. Voters should vote for all twelve measures as they will improve city infrastructure, provide needed city services, and improve existing civic facilities. The bond measures are part of a plan to insure Dallas’s growth, and carry us boldly into the twenty-first century.

In fact, the Dallas Morning News would like to endorse all future city bond measures as well. Voters should blindly endorse all spending measures placed on any ballot. Additionally, we feel you should vote for all future amendments to the Texas Constitution.

The Dallas Morning News endorses all Dallas incumbents for US House of Representatives (7 Republicans and 1 Democrat). In fact, the Dallas Morning News would like to endorse all incumbents running in all elections, county, city, federal, and state. Unless the incumbent doesn’t win, and then it is clear that the voters have sent a strong message, and the Dallas Morning News recognizes the will of the people. The Dallas Morning News endorses the fresh political face to breathe new energy into the stagnant political atmosphere.

The Dallas Morning News endorses all future stadium building plans and the funding for them, even if that means accepting money from famed Mafia enforcer, Tony "the Ant" Spilotro.

The editorial staff would like to take a strong stand against serial murderers, rapists, and pedophile priests.

The Dallas Morning News strongly condemns drugs, and only used a few times as a recreational user, of course. The Dallas Morning News didn’t inhale.

And the Dallas Morning News would like to endorse all measures endorsed by over fifty percent of the voting electorate.

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